wanting it.

:: Listen: Beyonce – XO ::

It’s a New Year.

I’ve gotta say, 2013 was pretty good to me. It was the beginning of some huge things, like starting my first teaching job and moving into my first home. It brought me new, treasured friendships, taught me a few lessons, and helped me experience and feel things I never thought I would.

But 2014…this is a year. I can’t explain it, and I might be a raging cliche in saying so, but I feel a spirit of change stirring in me. Maybe it’s an excitement; I know that I, for one, am looking forward to a fresh start. And beyond that maybe it’s readiness for something new. Or maybe it’s dissatisfaction, a frustration with who I am and who I’ve been. I don’t know.

I read this quote recently, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since: “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.”

It’s a quote from Bill Cosby, which in my mind makes it ten times better, just because I love me some Bill. But Cosby aside, this is solid advice. How many times do you shy away from something that you truly want because it makes you nervous? And if you’re like me, you want a lot of things, and a lot of things make you nervous, and so you settle into routine. And I don’t mean to say that what I’m currently doing isn’t what I want, because I’m fortunate enough to say that it is.

But there’s more. And I’m tired of saying “No” or “Maybe later” or “What if it doesn’t work out?” So it’s time to say “Yes.” Yes to the things that I want but put off because of fear or laziness or distraction.

For me, this means brushing up on my previous 5 years of German language learning and becoming fluent (with the help of Rosetta Stone – thanks Mom and Dad!). It means continuously making art and adding it to my shop and being consistent in blogging. And it means working towards a dream (secret for now 🙂 ) that I’ve had for years – a big dream that requires big changes.

I’m nervous, friends. These are some big declarations to make, some of which I’ve made before and completely failed to accomplish. I’m kind of putting myself out there with all of it, and even if nobody else cares whether or not I update my blog with my silly ramblings, I will know if I fail.

But here’s the thing: I have to try. And friends, so do you.

xo t.elyse

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2 thoughts on “wanting it.

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